28 Jan WTFU: Things that continue to baffle me in birth/motherhood/sex
1. Babies being treated like non-sentient creatures we treat or trouble VS intuitively + instinctively care for.
2. The extinction method (otherwise known as Cry It Out) being regarded as a non-threat to infants & children, and verbal & physical abuse is accepted if it’s a ‘good spank to teach them a lesson and stop them being spoiled brats.’ So let’s break the spirits of our children and teach them the adrenaline/cortisol fueled lesson that they’re alone, can’t trust anyone, and no one is coming to save them’ before they’ve even turned one and then be horribly surprised when the world is filled with sociopaths, murderers, emotionally unintelligent, disassociated, narcissists who can’t form healthy bonds or relationships, and can’t seem to break away from patterns that were set within their cells without their consent. But hey 👋 let’s blame it on social media and video games.
3. Victim blaming. So. Much. Victim. Blaming. Your birth trauma is your fault – you walked into this hospital room naked so you were obviously asking for this assault on your mind + body. This rape was your fault. This abuse was your fault. Your death was your fault. Your baby’s death was your fault. (Gaslighting rape culture rife everywhere you look).
4. Obstetricians, Midwives & Doulas denying being complicit in a system that oppresses, suppresses and cuckholds women & birthing people. Even better is when these professionals play victim to the system and blame the management and/or resort to ‘but if I say anything I’ll lose my job’. Spoiler alert, Janet – the system can’t exist without you. So you are 💯 a part of the problem.
5. NO means YES. Or NO means everything else but NO. And implied consent trumps the NO card, too.
6. YES means you’re a slut.
7. There is no winning – so don’t say NO and don’t say YES – just lie there like a good girl.
8. The world glorifies the kind, compassionate, martyr mother and condemns the woman who defends her worth, intelligence, autonomy and right to joy. Stop with your feminist antics and get back to being our fuck toys, baby makers, kitchen managers, mothers and housekeepers. Our toxic masculinity is tender, you have no right to take up space in this world. And if you don’t listen, we will torture, humiliate and or kill you.
9. The DIRECT tie between the relationships we have with sex and ourselves, plus the relationship we have with birth, motherhood and ourselves is EERIE. If we are going to help women/people birth, we need to help them love themselves unconditionally, command respect, know their value and take up space without inhibition. The only way for women/people to access this power is through a thorough understanding of themselves. Each messy, wet, profound, complicated, magnificent layer of themselves. And that starts with sex. Sensuality. Pleasure. Our bodies as marvels VS machines that move on a belt. Until we reframe society & the individual’s relationship with sex, birth won’t change.
10. Fear holds back change. Fear is a fucker because fear is often unsubstantiated and a product of thought. Excuses are even worse.
11. Humans have destroyed this planet, our ecosystem, our animals, people, languages, cultures and have compromised quality of life for humans and the future of this world all in the name of ‘evolution’. Our obsession with doing more more more and being right and measuring everything with numbers that sound ‘right’ and words that make sense to our arrogant brains, our obsession with religion, pathological consumption and abandoning our moral compass, intuition and instinct in the name of what the white rich man says – has literally been the most baffling of all to me.
12. People would rather be offended than explore a different reality. They would rather ignore the facts at hand then help activate change. They would rather be right then admit wrong and do better. They would rather be an asshole because nice guys finish last, and good people don’t make it to the finish line.
13. My orgasms are important (and so are yours).
14. My brain is important (and so is yours).
15. My heart is important (and so is yours).
16. My freedom and autonomy is important (and so is yours).
17. My safety is important (and so is yours).
18. My pussy is powerful (and so is yours).
19. You do not get to choose what part of me is of value to you or this world.
20. Stop letting the world tell you what parts of your are valuable – you are a treasure!!!!!
And lastly, my ability to be patient in the face of resistance, ridicule, trauma, abuse, death and the ruin of a world and it’s population has reached breaking point. If you have ANY INVESTMENT in the future of our children – wake. The. Fuck. Up.